We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
