My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
