There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm passing your future prison.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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