she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
