I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
