At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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