He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We are two peas in an std pod
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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