Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
