Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
