I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
