Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
