so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
