hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
