When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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