For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
