I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize