So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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