He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
