her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
