thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
