hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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