Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
