So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
