yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm really busy with my period
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