have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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