Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
