Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
