I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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