By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
