dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
