So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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