Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize