You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
