Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
