My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
