Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
