Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
