just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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