To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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