I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
