some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
