You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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