Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
