I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
