My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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