we have officially lost it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
