turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
