I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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