A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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