Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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