I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
