Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
