it wasn't lemon gatorade
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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