Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
