Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
