i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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