if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You ruined the universe
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
