wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
