recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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