Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
