I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
