cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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