bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize