i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
