I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why didn't you poke me back
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
