U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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