she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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